From Pain To Wisdom

I am filled with regrets and remorse for my actions. There are a lot of things I could have done differently in my life thus far. However, this is natural. All humans, anywhere, at anytime, would have made mistakes. And if they are smart enough, they would unequivocally regret it. But regret and remorse cause pain. While they do teach important lessons which help in life, the pain causes depression, anxiety, and pointless worry.

As I write this, I investigate how I can use my regrets and remorses for all the mistakes I have done thus far, learn from them, and then not feel pain or depression, or be tied down to the shackles of regret. I want to break free from the pain.

Every evening when I stare at the sunset, I think about my regrets. The patterns are clear now. Some mistakes repeat themselves, and I know why—because I did not extract the lessons from them. I held onto the pain instead of implementing what I learned. The pain is useless. It serves no purpose once the lesson has been identified.

Breaking free means something specific to me. It's when the regret has been fully forgotten, when there is no pain—mental or emotional—and no recollection left in day-to-day life. Yet the lessons learned from that regret have been solidified into the core principles of my life. This is the transformation I seek: from pain to principle, from wound to wisdom.

The key is in how I use these lessons. I must use them to get better—professionally and at personal goals like studying math, playing the guitar, mastering computer science. Getting better using a new set of core principles is how these lessons find their purpose. This is their only value.

I understand now that replaying the past is a huge mistake. For all intents and purposes, the past does not exist. It has disappeared. It only exists in my mind, no different from a dream. So it is best to forget it and just keep the important lessons.

If I could talk to myself with complete honesty, I would say this: Life is a game. Morality is subjective and ever-evolving and cultural. The only yardstick is performance. Study well. Work hard. Eat healthy. Learn your lessons. Relearn them. Teach others. Play the game. Get better. Repeat.

That's the whole point of life.

I will no longer be shackled by regret. I will extract what I need and move forward. The pain ends here. The wisdom begins now.